I know I’m getting older when I start looking at my days as pages in a book, and the years as chapters. I’m usually excited to start a new chapter in my life but this year feels different. Turning a new page would mean closing the chapter on my dad. He passed away on Sep. 10.
When Covid-19 first hit, my sister and I were in Jordan for a trip that was supposed to be 3 weeks but ended up being 5 months (I wrote about that in this post). Alhamdulilah for that gift from Allah! I have beautiful memories from that trip and more from my parents’ last visit to the U.S that I reminisce on when I’m overwhelmed with grief.
I’m sad to turn the page on 2021.
It feels like I’m letting go of my father’s hand and moving forward without him.
I understand that this is the cycle of life and may be THIS IS also why I’m feeling sad.
I realize that we’re here on earth for a short period of time. Each one of us was given unique qualities that would help us accomplish our mission in life. Our purpose of existence.
The question is….
Do you know your unique qualities? Your mission on earth? Your purpose of existence?
I used to think that I have no control over my life. That Allah has ordained everything that happens in my life (Qadar) and I should be patient. I felt helpless. Powerless. Victimized. Why would Allah give us brains (that can think and evolve) if he already ordained everything? Why would he punish us? It didn’t sound fair BUT Allah is AL Adel (The Just).
Something is not right!
Through my journey towards a growth mindset, I’m learning to take responsibility for my role in my life. Like the Ayah above says: Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.
I’m empowered to learn that I’m in control of my life journey.
Growth Mindset— the idea that we can grow our brain’s capacity to learn and to solve problems.
Watching my father’s health deteriorate over the summer was heartbreaking but it made me question my purpose. My legacy. How do I want to be remembered? Who would I want to be by my side when my time comes? How would I want to be comforted? What would make the transition easy on me?
My father fell in Feb. 2021, had a stroke in early May where he lost his ability to talk and care for himself. Surprisingly he could still perform wudu and remembered the prayer movements. He could also verbalize the words alhamdulilah and inshallah. Clearly his subconscious mind was in control. He was acting based on memory.
Actions that he “unknowingly” practiced most of his life were serving him at the end of his life.
In order to have the type of life I want, I need to be deliberate in the actions I practice everyday. Alhamdulilah I’ve already started….
I’m memorizing the Quran because I want to be comforted with the Quran IF I lose my ability to read.
I’m exercising everyday because I want my bones and joints to be strong for prayer.
I’m eating healthy because I want to live a healthy life.
I’m taking care of my children because they’re a gift from Allah and entrusted to me to raise them well.
I’m running my business because I want to shine a light on the beauty of Islam through Arabic Calligraphy.
Looking ahead to 2022, Insha’Allah!
When I launched Home Synchronize in 2013 I knew nothing about creating stencils, decals, websites, logos, or running a business (here’s more about this journey). I googled everything and Alhamdulilah I’m now able to provide you with a large variety of Arabic stencils and Arabic decals to choose from for your creative projects. I especially enjoy working with you on custom orders because it challenges me and makes me feel creative. With that said, I want you to know that this may be the year I take Home Synchronize into a new direction. I’ve been thinking about it for a while but not sure how to proceed. I enjoy being creative, love to learn, and am always eager to help and solve problems. I’m also patient, persistent, disciplined, organized, and know how to manage my time. I’m not sure what this new direction will be but I’ll definitely be mindful of my purpose.
Happy New Year my friends! May Allah bless us with good health and guide us to all that is best for us in this life and after.